Monday, July 21, 2008
"You are like a firefly in heat chasing after a quarterback on the field. You go boy!" Bruno Tonioli, TV Judge - Dancing With the Stars
Mamma mia, here I go again, My my, how can I resist you? Oh sorry about that - Doing the Pasa Doble oh I mean playing the 4-3 Jason Taylor and his partner. Well that did not take long. After a very quiet off-season the Skins circus is back. I hope they don't up ticket prices due to this acquisition. A pretty big loss losing Daniels on day 1 but SNYDER and Cerrato pulled another one out of their sleeve. As much as I did not like to think about Taylor coming to the Skins I am not complaining at this point. I've been cursing him since he stepped on the dance floor saying no team would rightfully take him back after his embarrassment to the NFL - twinkle toe fairy, and even cursing about him when I first thought about the possiblity of him coming to the Skins when Daniels went down, but in a matter of seconds as I watched the "Breaking News" scroll along the bottom of my screen I became elated and was happy as hell to have signed him. I have never been a big fan of his but his sack numbers speak for themselves. We just need to stop the run behind him and Andre Carter and we should be good.
This move has SNYDER written all over it. He probably could not wait to get Taylor into his office and talk about Hollywood and maybe even go over a few of the steps Taylor used on TV. I heard they started out with the Electric Slide today, but it was cut short with the DANNY pulling a hammy. I know Mario Lopez is probably bummed as he will be replaced for the big Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve party by Taylor, as Taylor will be Ryan Seacrests' new butt buddy. I actually heard Taylor finally agreed to come to the Skins after hearing from "Choo Choo" Portis who has promised to dance with Taylor each morning in hopes of them making it big after their football careers are over.
Hold on everyone as we have only gotten through 2 days of camp and we are already all over ESPN. Please keep Favre with Madden in the cruiser far away from Redskins Park!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wow what a fast off season and for the most part a very quiet one for the Redskins after we finally got a new coach. Oh you don't remember how all that went down? Take a look at this to refresh your memory. Again I don't know if Jim Zorn should be proud of his new position or flat out embarrassed. I guess we will see very soon.
As for the draft SNYDER, Cerrato, and zorn decided to go for playmakers on the offensive side of the ball. Forget line players we are getting pass catchers. One of them decided he could not tell time very well and ended up in zorn's office during the first off season practice he tried to attend. At least we did not trade half of the team to get Chad Johnson as it appeared we might pre-draft.
As normal we need to get through pre-season and training camp with limited injuries as McCintosh, Rogers, Jansen, and Thomas are all working on returning from last year's injuries. Unfortunately with 5 pre-season games most likely there will be some problems before the regular season starts.
As for the predictions of the upcoming season. I will leave this to Tyler to see how he does. As you can see he is deep in thought.
9/4 @ New York Giants - No Tiki, No Toothless Strahan, and the Skins ground the Giants with a "Win"
9/14 vs New Orleans - The Saints might come in but they will be leaving Washington with a loss. The Skins "Win" again!
9/21 vs Arizona - Nothing to say here but another "Win"
9/28 @ Dallas - I pooped on my Dallas diaper but the girls still won. "Loss"
10/5 @ Philadelphia - 2 years in a row we beat the ugly fat bastard in Philly! "Win"
10/12 vs St. Louis - Can't lose this one at home "Win"
10/19 vs Cleveland - Another easy one at home "Win"
10/26 @ Detroit - Poop on the Lions we win again. "Win"
11/3 vs Pittsburgh - We drop one at home to the dirty coal miners. "Loss"
BYE - No opportunity to lose this one!!
11/16 vs Dallas - Well rested and beat the girls this time. "Win"
11/23 @ Seattle - Will we ever win at this place "Loss"
11/30 vs New York Giants - Sweep the Giants. "Win"
12/7 @ Baltimore - Ravens SUCK we "Win"
12/14 @ Cincinnati - The Bengals could not field a team since they are all in prison. "Win"
12/21 vs Philadelphia - Donovan is benched by now or injured. "Win"
12/28 @ San Fran - A long road trip but we get a "Win"
So Tyler has the Skins going 13-3. We already have him brain washed as you can see!
Make sure to check out Portis's pre-season costume shopping on this video. Please just stay healthy and be ready for the first game to carry the full load whomever you are acting as on that Sunday.
Any rumors you hear about Favre going to the Skins are completely false. He is joining John Madden in the booth after the honeymoon.